Sunday, January 9, 2011

First Dose & Furry Fornication

I'm not really sure why my memory is so horrible, but it's really starting to bug me. It's not that I just can't remember a name when I first meet someone, or that I rely completely on my outlook calendar to keep track of my life, but it's the quizzical look on faces as I repeat a question for which I already have the information to answer. As a result, awkwardness ensues (which I enjoy), but I do also end up feeling like a dumbass (which I don't enjoy).

The Internets list the main causes of forgetfulness as old age, trauma, smoking, alcohol abuse, and medical conditions such as Alzheimer's. Well, I'm not geriatric, I wear a helmet 24/7, I only inject, alcohol abuses me, and I still remember who my imaginary friends are. So far so good. I've got a few additional thought loss theories of my own, but I'll save that for another time. The real reason for this (and all future) musings is simple. Somehow, some way, maybe these blogs will act as my own personal memory supplement and help re-energize and rebuild what little is left of my hippocampus, cerebrum, etc...Dose by dose, maybe the dumbasstisity (already submitted to Urban Dictionary, now pending review) will dampen. If all else fails, I'll have proper evidence years from now that I was indeed an idiot, but for several other unrelated reasons.

So let's begin with dose #1.

Today, I got out of bed (at 12:30pm) and opened up the blinds in my living room downstairs. Lo and behold, the partly cloudy Sunday afternoon decided to greet me with two squirrels humping on top of the fence in my backyard. While going at it from behind, the squirrel on top was oh so softly caressing the one below. It felt wrong watching, but it also felt right when I reached for my phone to take a picture, and possibly some video for the Discovery Channel (Gentle Mammals week is coming in March!). Needless to say, the iPhone's ability to zoom in from thirty feet blows. Anyways, the squirrels must have caught a glimpse of movement as I shook my fist in the air and scurried off. I swear though, the squirrel on top gave me a look right before it left that I'll never forget, one similar to this gem below:

My bad squirrel, my bad.


  1. Are you Ron Burgundy?

    Looking forward to more of your musings, Yosh!

  2. I once caught pigeons on video. It was more of a rape than making love though.