Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Today I got rejected, and no, it's not what you're thinking. Natalie Portman didn't deny the rumors that I am in fact her baby's daddy.

Even bald, my baby's momma is hot.

Harverd (spelling?) wait listed me after I applied for their graduate program: Twenty Somethings That Want to Read Good and Do Other Stuff Good Too.

They sell trucker hats, Ashton!

Heck, even the bum on the Aurora street corner obliged when I asked him to be my next Ted Williams (though I quickly found out that he confuses "Golden Voice" with "Golden Sho..," you get the point). No, it's way worse. I got rejected from Urbandictionary.com (cue dire situation button).

See, in my previous post, I created a new word, "Dumbasstisity," in the high hopes of an early submission for Merriam-Webster's 2011 Word of the Year. I figure if "Austerity" won in 2010, when a couple government bailouts here and there caused everyone to get all high and mighty about their vocab, heck, dumbasstisity must've been rampant and should be recognized in our current trip around the sun. But I digress, back to my rejection. I've copied and pasted the exact email I received from those online dict regulators:

"Urban Dictionary - Dumbasstisity was not published

Thanks for your definition of Dumbasstisity!
Editors reviewed your entry and have decided to not publish it.
To get a better idea of what editors publish and reject, sign up as an Urban Dictionary Editor here: http://editor.urbandictionary.com/
Urban Dictionary
The feeling of being a dumbass.
Man, your dumbassticity levels must have definitely increased since you've started using the Shake Weight."

First, their automatic response system didn't even address me by name and didn't want me replying to their "Noreply" hate hate hate mail. Rude I say.

Second, the site's own definition of what an "Urban Dictionary Editor" is, states that editors are, "The one thing that stands between the masses and the ramblings of pre-pubescent, ghetto-homeboys. This title is easily obtained, but is a public service that the community should use more often, which would keep at least some idiocies off the internet." I'm pissed, they called me pre-pubescent! Everyone knows my voice is just a little high at times!

Third, these are the same people that allowed "Pizzarrhea" and "M.I Ya Yo" to be published. I should just shoot myself in the face right now.

<30 minutes later>

...Well, although I'm down and currently faceless, I'm not going to stop submitting my gems until I get one approved. Until then, I'll go ahead and post dose #2 before I, you know, forget.

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